Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf
(3rd Episode)
The main way to ensure happiness and peace in the family is to build a good relationship with the wife. But in many cases, this bond is not developing. Some of the reasons we have highlighted in the last few episodes. "The boy finally went to hell. There is nothing to study. Only busy with games and sports. How will it be, which is a school, master also same. He feeds the goats with grass, and teaches the boys ‘Namata’. As if there is no grass in this country. Will there be grass or where? There is so much empty space now, which grass will grow. Wherever houses are growing and growing. There were more people than there, so many tsunamis, but no shortage. “After reading the accusation, the man came home and started saying to his wife, "What`s the matter with your kids! Keep some news! Where will you keep it, what else do you care about the world! As if the world is mine alone! You care about the empty father`s house."
There are really few people in the world who are completely happy with their own situation. Even so, owning one is still beyond the reach of the average person. On the other hand, there are some people who are so weak-minded that they can`t hide their grief or problems. As soon as he finds someone, he starts complaining. Such people become accustomed to complaining about everything in the world. No one is left out of their allegations. Complaint practice starts as soon as you find a friend. The fact that you know the beginning of this episode is proof of that. They gradually become friendless. But the family and children were forced to listen to the complainant blindly. They have no choice. The sleeves become so unbearable and annoying. The dangerous thing is that they also tend to complain about the details of the family. Everyone in the family therefore suffers from panic. If the complaint is exclusive, then maybe there is no problem. But when protests come from the other side, disaster strikes. This catastrophe also brings disaster to the family. But Islam considers refraining from complaining to be good behavior. When one is in danger, one should pray to Allah to solve all the problems without complaining to others. Because Allah is the owner of the solution of all things. Remember, your wife does not want to hear from you about various problems or complaints from outside, she expects something else. Try to get rid of these bad tendencies by showing respect to his desires. Back home, forget about all the problems of the outside world. Try to spend time happily with your family. Fill the time with laughter and joy. Try to enjoy the closeness of each other. Sit down to eat together, laugh. Appreciate your wife`s cooking. Give the children time. Only then will the golden nest be built. Some people have an irritable mood. They just find fault. And when he gets something, he starts a quarrel. It is their bad habit to quarrel verbally. They exaggerate so much over trivial matters that there are always quarrels in the family. No wife likes such a picky husband. So many families broke up. For example, the house is usually kept clean by the wives. But a lot of times the work pressure can be a little late. But the responsibility is not the wife`s alone. Even the husband. But if the husband does not think so and keeps on saying - I see the table is dirty, why? Is there no one in this room? Ah! How many times have I said that the ashtray will never be on the floor, who listens to whom? - (loudly) what happened, was there no cooking; Etc.
It is true that small mistakes can be made while working in the family. The mistake that can easily get your claim denied is to fail. Now, if we make a mistake, we should not blame each other, but we should correct the mistake through discussion and sympathy. The wife must be indifferent to her husband if he continues to blame her exclusively by avoiding the amicable way of negotiation. The end of which will not be good for any of them, nor for their children. The whole family organization would rather break up. The only way to avoid such a situation is to pay attention to the guidance of the Prophet. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I say to those of you who believe by hearing, but whose hearts are not yet full of sincere faith, do not speak ill of any Muslim. Such a person would be disrespectful even if he stayed at home. "One thing that husbands rarely wake up to is that women`s minds, like men`s, are subject to change. Just as one is overwhelmed with happiness, so one is overwhelmed with anger and sorrow. Your wife may be angry at the boring housework, the behavior of the children, or the words of others. With such a troubled mind, he can be rude to others even in trivial matters. In such a situation, it is the husband`s responsibility to vent his anger. But how! No, you should not try to quell your anger by doubling it. When you see your wife angry when you return home, try to be normal, smile and be happy, avoid harshness and talk with a smile. Help him with the chores. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive. Instead, if your wife wants to speak for herself, try to listen to her attentively and be sincere and empathetic in solving her problems. Assist in resolving the cause of anger, comfort him. Your help will seem most valuable to him. If you do anything different than this, the emotional conflict between you will intensify. Apart from the prophets and messengers, it can be said that no human being in the world is above mistakes. Nor is anyone completely perfect or omnipotent. Even then, before marriage, every husband imagines in his mind that his wife will be an ideal woman of all qualities. But in reality it is not possible. That is why after marriage, when you look at the real wife with the wife of Kalpana, many imperfections come to the fore. The husband then began to think, what I wanted, and what I got! Expressing such frustration, he looks outside in search of perfection. When he wanted to take her back, he beat her, insulted her and abused her. Those who have read the Bangladeshi newspapers on January 17 must not have forgotten to read the news of Azam Reza`s execution. Azam Reza was a bank officer. He is married to a beautiful teacher named Jayanti. After a short married life, Azam Reza formed a relationship with another beautiful actress. It is not possible for any wife to accept such a relationship. Jayanti did not accept either. As a result, Azam Reza brutally killed his wife. The court also sentenced Azam Reza to death for murder. The fact that her husband fell in love with her after a long time must not have happened suddenly. Such a relationship usually develops little by little day after day. But, why? Certainly the wife did not get what she expected or something that the husband could have lovingly explained to her. And if the husband has fallen in love with the ungodly for the sake of illicit desires, then the wife must have already noticed it. In that case, it was not impossible for the wife to turn her husband away from extroversion with intelligence. Even then, if that were not possible, the last resort would be to go to family court. In these cases, the Prophet`s teaching was to be generous in forgiving one another. Since this did not happen in the case of Azam Reza and Jayanti, the two had to suffer tragic consequences. And the family broke up.
Author: Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf is a Columnist, Literary and Chairman of Ababil Hajj Group
