Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf
(4th Episode)
Ignoring the mistakes of others and forgiving is a special quality of human beings which animals do not have. If someone is harmed by another, then forgiving him is a sign of greatness. The peace of mind that comes from enjoying the joy of forgiveness is, in a word, a miracle. But even then people are jealous, envious, and vindictive. We should be sincere about not letting this brutal quality take root in us. Violence and jealousy make people critical. By practicing backbiting, they tend to harm others. If there is a sweet relationship between husband and wife in a family, the critics are eager to make the relationship between them worse. In these cases, the critics spread such rumors, from which it is necessary to get rid of the need for the husband and wife to discuss the matter with each other with a sensitive head. Both should be sincere about discovering the truth, not questioning. Any kind of rude attitude can bring great disaster in this case. I live together with my husband, mother-in-law and Nanad. I had a good time with my first husband. We were living a sweet married life. But our happiness becomes the cause of some people`s illness. That is why various rumors about me are spread in the ears of my husband to make him unpleasant to me. Those rumors are heard from people who find it hard to believe. The questioner wanted to know-what kind of rumors would you say? The gentlewoman said, "My mother-in-law has been lying in wait for me for twenty-four hours." Nana wants to quarrel with me. Naturally, he is very grumpy. When she could not argue with me, she tried to provoke me into arguing with her husband by saying contradictory things about me. That day I was shopping and returning home. The road was jammed. After returning home, my mother-in-law started questioning me. Why are you late, where have you gone, who are you dating? Etc. All are nonsense. Something happens in our society that paralyzes humanity. Let`s take a picture like this: I saw a sudden fire in a house, with screaming and shouting. Neighbors heard the screams and came forward. Inside the room where the fire broke out, he opened the door of the serum and saw the beautiful bride of that house burning inside. He hurriedly extinguished the fire and took the bride to the medical center. Fortunately, the bride survived. After recovering, he told the housewife to go home and she said, I will not go home. The question is why not go? The lady said, I wanted to die so that I would not have to stay in that house. Asked why you do not want to stay at home? In response, the bride said, she said a lot. The questioner said again, says! We will listen. Then the lady began to speak. When my husband finally returned home, the mother-in-law cried and told her son all the facts, saying that he had a bad relationship with a meat seller. Hearing this, my husband naturally got angry. I also broke down in anger and grief. I tried to finish myself off. The bride broke down in tears.
The fact that we have known for so long such an event is not desirable for anyone. If such incidents happen, the family structure will collapse completely. In order to prevent family breakdown, everyone needs to be aware of their responsibilities and behave in a balanced manner. In this incident, there are mother-sister on one side and wife on the other side. The husband has the responsibility towards both of them. The husband and wife have to be very prudent in performing their duties. There is a danger of any kind of foolishness. The incident that we found out a little while ago, such incidents happen every day in many families. Many people do not think that the solution is cool. But Islam has given excellent solutions to these issues. Let`s talk about him this time. Every boy grows up in the shelter of his parents before marriage. From an early age, children are dependent on their parents. Since parents raise and raise their son, they naturally expect him to care for them when he grows up. But after the marriage, when the parents see that the son is taking more care of his new family and wife, then the parents suffer. By marrying the boy, they set him free for the time being, but in their heart they expected that the boy would respect their wishes and reluctance. But in reality, not seeing it, I think the daughter-in-law is the cause of this situation. That`s why they chase after the bride to reduce the boy`s attention from the bride. And this sad behavior of the parents is not at all beneficial for the new life of the son. So it is reasonable to explain to the boy his rights very wisely. Parents expect their son to take care of them if he can earn money. This expectation of parents is their inevitable right. This right remains intact even after marriage. As a result, besides paying attention to the wife, one should also be active in fulfilling the sincere responsibilities towards the parents. One of the duties of an earning child is to meet the financial crisis of the parents. So, as before, it is the son`s duty to take care of his parents and treat them well. If the son performs this duty, then the parents will wish the son`s wife and the family well. In that case, there will be no reason to follow the son`s wife. But even then there are some exceptional incidents, in which case the boy has to think deeply - how fair the parents are. Parents and children should know that a boy is not obliged to obey any unjust or unrighteous order. If the neglect of the parents is a hindrance to the wife, then the son should be able to maintain a good relationship with the parents. I call the parents to his house, telling the children to respect their grandparents. The wife should also say that if she respects the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law will be proud of the son-in-law instead of sticking against the son-in-law; they will help the son-in-law in all cases. The point that needs to be made here is that husbands should abandon their parents completely and become wives - such thinking of wives is absolutely unjust. Such claims are neither justified nor realistic. Rather, wives can tactfully treat their in-laws in such a way that they feel that the wife is an important member of their family. It will save both sides. Remember, the welfare of the child lies in the care of the elderly parents. Many neighbors may be jealous of their parents. One thing to keep in mind here is that parents usually do not wish their son well. If they have any reason to cause trouble in the boy`s family, it is only to assert their own rights. If the son realizes his rights properly, then the parents become benevolent to the son. But if the neighbors are jealous and practice backbiting, it is very scary. It would be very foolish to take any decision in a hurry. Remember that wife is your life partner. He is also a man of flesh and blood. No man on earth is above error. If someone whispers in your ear about your wife, it is wise to resist it slowly and deeply. In no way can the slander of outsiders be ignored. After discussing the loving sincerity with the wife, if it seems that the wife has really done something wrong, then the wife`s forgiveness for that injustice will be shown in a beautiful way. Try to explain to the wife nicely with the argument - what harm can be done to them as a result, it is not right to punish the wife in a hurry. After explaining it to him, remorse will surely work in him. As a result, mistakes may not be repeated. On the other hand, your wife will always be grateful to you. As a result, family peace and order will remain intact. Anger is a very deadly thing. Many beautiful families have been destroyed by the fire of anger. They angry but remorseful after being ruined. As a result, be patient, not angry. GOD is with those who are patient.
Author: Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf is a Columnist, Literary and Chairman of Ababil Hajj Group
