Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf
(6th Episode)
Mr. Aslam returned home and saw that his wife was not at home. It is difficult for all husbands not to see their wives back home after a tiring day.
But even more difficult does not know where the wife went. Mr. Aslam is sitting on the sofa and thinking, when a phone call came -Mr. Aslam said hello and the phone cut out. Naturally, another worry comes to mind. As Aslam was walking, he saw a letter pad open on his wife`s dressing table. All in all, the matter is doubtful. What would Mr. Aslam have done if his wife had come home to read about the matter? Where did she go? Why did she go? Why didn`t she tell me before? Why is the letter pad here? Write a letter to whom secretly? -Is it appropriate to do all this? No, not at all. Because it is an expression of a skeptical mind. Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, has said in the Holy Qur`an, O you who believe, refrain from making the most absurd assumptions, for in some cases conjecture is definitely considered a sin. Moreover, Islam forbids doubting until specific evidence is found. Hazrat Ali (R) said, beware of doubt, because doubt destroys worship and increases sin.
The result cannot be doubted. Doubt distorts the wife`s fidelity. This kind of skepticism makes family life miserable. Those who suffer from such mentality continue to follow their wife like a detective all the time. If there is anything, you can see the evidence in favor of suspicion. His only job is to find out his wife`s faults. But if you see your wife with patience and a mind free from doubt, one day the wife herself may tell you where she has gone, what she has done, to whom she has written a letter. If it so happens that the husband himself once asked his wife to write a letter at home. That letter was written by his wife. And she went to the post office to post. But as the post office was crowded as usual, it was getting late for her to return home. That`s why she wanted to tell her husband by telephone. But due to a problem in the telephone set of the house, it was cut off after ringing. As a result, it was not possible to talk. As long as you know this truth, the stigma of doubt will not go away from your mind. But the thing is, if you start questioning your wife with suspicion, will she be able to tell you this information jokingly? Therefore, being skeptical is not good at all, but be cheerful, be faithful to your wife.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "If one slanders a wife in the name of immorality, all the benefits of her good deeds will be nullified, just as a shell falls from a snake." The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said, "Whoever makes false accusations in the name of a believing woman or man, on the Day of Judgment, Allaah will place him on a fiery furnace, so that he may be punished for this crime."
As a result, refrain from making unfounded suspicions. This does not mean that you are completely indifferent to your wife`s behavior. Rather, check the signs you see yourself - not to convict your wife, but to find out the truth. Making a decision without knowing the truth is a serious mistake. What would have happened if he had accused his wife of adultery, as we learned at the beginning of the discussion? No, that would not be good at all. The wife felt humiliated. In the agony of losing her dignity and personality, the wife must have made negative decisions. But the wife did not do anything wrong. Only a small disbelief could lead to the destruction of a beautiful world. If the husband`s unfounded suspicions are made public, there could be a greater danger. People are only surrounded by enemies. Your enemies will have the opportunity to sneer at your family through this gap of doubt. They will give rise to various gossips and fabrications in an attempt to justify your suspicions. Which will seem true to you. When you are in great danger of making a decision based on all that, they will laugh at you.
Remember the husband-wife relationship is a love affair. So deep passion and sincerity works here. Doubt or disbelief destroys love or sincerity. Once the black spot of doubt falls on the simple-minded holy mind, that spot will remain forever. So do any work thoughtfully. It is a grave mistake to rush into work, as the poet says.
A little bit of a mistake, a lot of danger
Those who have made mistakes, everyone suffers.
One thing needs to be said here, if the husband has no reason to be suspicious of his wife, that is, if the wife has not done anything really suspicious, then the husband`s skepticism is nothing but a mental illness! In this case, the wife has something to do. First of all you have to look with deep attention and sincerity, your husband is suspicious of any of your behavior. If you are able to discover, refrain from doing that kind of work. Don`t think that you have become a slave to your husband`s will. Rather it is your responsibility as a wife to your mentally ill husband. You try to heal your husband with your love and service.
In this way try to solve the problems between you through mutual harmony and love. There is no substitute for such self-sacrifice in the interest of building a fair and orderly family. I will end today`s discussion by quoting an important statement of Hazrat Ali (RA). He says that he who seeks the weakness of others must first look at himself.
Author: Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf is a Columnist, Literary and Chairman of Ababil Hajj Group
