Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf

"Mr. Rahim is an employee of a private office. He is accustomed to working from nine to five o`clock. After five o`clock, he finished his office work, hung the hotpot on his shoulder and left for home.

The two-story Volvo is waiting for service in the front row of the counter. Suddenly a push came from behind and fell. The clothes and pants became dusty-gray. No one usually wants to hear the words or sentences he utters in the background and does not remain inactive after listening. The middle class of a little gentleman rides in Volvo. So no one answered his rude words. People who are quarrelsome do not get relief if they cannot quarrel. The creature remained inside the pot of the mind. When he finally returned home, the animal came out while giving the hotpot to his wife. Do you cook nonsense nowadays, can you eat all this? Will cook a little all day - that`s it! Anything. Barek, Basu, where are they?

The wife remained unresponsive. She did not say anything.

Mr. Rahim said: Do not listen to the words? Where are they!

Meanwhile, the wife went inside crying. Her son is lying silently in the room of two mothers for fear of Azrael.

Meanwhile, Mr. Rahim`s friend came home suddenly. As soon as he asked Mr. Rahim about his tricks, he replied, "Well, where am I? There is unrest and unrest everywhere inside and outside the house. I asked your Bhabi few times where the boys are, she is sitting with a lock on her face."

In the midst of such conversation of two friends, Mr. Rahim`s wife came to the drawing room to greet the guest. After exchanging pleasantries, the lady was going inside to fetch tea, when Mr. Rahim cut off her remarks and said, "You don`t have to eat any more tea. Instead, give me some fruit." Mr. Rahim`s wife was ashamed and went to the inner court.

Now let`s analyze the events. Every human being has a different personality, self-esteem. Dignity is something that is more valuable to many than wealth. Inferior people give birth to inferior offspring and, thus, propagate their inferiority. But those who are honest put dignity above all else. Women are naturally shy. Dignity is more important to honest women, that is, to shy women. Wives expect husbands to have the same dignity. If husbands disrespect or humiliate them, they are severely injured. And it is the nature of many wives, that is, women, not to disclose even if they are injured. But inside, like a fire of chaff, he began to cherish the pain of being injured. Gradually, she became disinterested in her husband and began to hate him. But the wife is your life partner, your best friend, and your closest person. As a result, he has the right to receive the best status of friendship from you. Respecting the wife turns it into love. As a result, the wife will also become respectful and affectionate towards you. This is a matter of showing respect but it is not a formality. On the contrary, respect can be shown in all deeds, whether in getting up, sitting down, walking back and forth.

When leaving home for office purposes, say goodbye to your wife. Come to the office and look for work gaps. After returning home, you greet him as soon as you open the door. Find out how the whole day went, whether the food was good, whether the children were annoying. Then, as long as you stay at home together, take part in caring for your children. If your wife forbids you, tell her to endure the harassment all day long. Let me take some of it. Your wife will be humble in gratitude for this. Sit down to eat-drink-appreciate her cooking. Try to refrain from mocking or disrespecting your wife even if you are joking. Because he will understand that you made a joke out of love. That`s why you may not mind. But in his mind he may dislike the joke. What a need! Choose the poetic path of praise instead of jokes. If you have to have fun, make a joke so that you can have fun and not hurt your dignity. Never speak abusively or disrespectfully to your wife in a meeting or gathering of friends. Rather praise him with respect. This will increase the respect and dignity of your wife in your friends. As a result, you will both be honored. And relationships built on mutual respect and dignities are strengthened. At the same time, there is an atmosphere of happiness, peace and fragrance in the marital life and family. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that only those who have a great heart show respect to women. He added, "He who disrespects his family, his wife, spoils the happiness of his life."

Respecting this great saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him), all his Ummah should respect their wives. Imam Sadiq (AS) and his father were quoted as saying, "It is the duty of the one who is married to respect his wife." They emphasize respect for the wife in the interests of family happiness and order. But the matter of showing this respect must arise from the heart. Respect is the expression of love. As a result, just as love needs to be genuine, so should respect. In everyday life people face strange events. These events may not always be pleasant. There are colleagues of different mentality in the office. Not everyone will be the friend that will be affordable. As a result, if you ever receive unfriendly treatment from someone, you may feel bad. On top of that you might get annoyed while standing for the bus, or unfortunately a snatcher looted your belongings - in such a situation you returned home feeling angry. When you returned home, you didn`t find anyone else and you were angry with your poor wife. Your sons and daughters saw your behavior and thought, Dad is not like an Azrael has returned home. They ran away in fear of not approaching you. Meanwhile, you started behaving abnormally due to the minor errors in the cooking that your wife worked for you all day, or maybe the kids in the house were messing around, or they were shouting whatever if you abused your wife on these excuses. , Then what could be a more tragic event! You yourself have turned your world into hell. This behavior of yours is not guardian-friendly at all, but like an oppressive dictator. Your whole family is suffering unbearably from the exploitation of dictatorship like you. And your wife, who was supposed to be happy as soon as she saw her husband, will be upset as soon as she sees your face. Your partner will feel poisoned by him. Gradually your wife will want to leave your company. If it is impossible because of the kids will start to hate. The biggest loss you will suffer as a result is that your behavior will have a profound effect on the minds of children. Children can gradually become so emotionally complex or unbalanced that they may begin to do more dangerous things than you do. The existence of this complex mentality can be found by searching the family history of those who enter the criminal world. The main reason is your rude and unbalanced behavior. Think about the serious consequences that your temporary intolerance can bring.

One thing you need to think about is whether you, your spouse, or your children are responsible for the accident that caused you to start behaving rudely. Not, at all. Isn`t it wrong to treat your family members innocently? The wise thing to do is to deal with everything coldly. For establish self-control without losing patience. If you report the accident to your wife and other family members, they will share the pain with you. In this, everyone became a partner of suffering. On the other hand, no matter how much he tries to comfort you, he will no longer feel your pain. And your children will become sympathetic to you. Every day they will be waiting when you return home. They will always be concerned about whether you have arrived properly, which will strengthen the mutual bond. So try to solve any problem in a cold head by avoiding aggression. Try to be happy with everyone in the family, especially with the wife. Try to behave nicely. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) declared it a sign of faith. He says that the person who behaves well, his faith is fuller. The best of you is the one who treats his family well. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said that there is no deed better than good behavior.

Author: Alhaj Md. Abu Yusuf is a Columnist, Literary and Chairman of Ababil Hajj Group